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23 August 2010 @ 02:15 pm
Maybe I shouldn't admit to being this weak  
It happened again.

I dreamed that Tomoe, Dai-chan, Akkii, Sumika and a bunch of other people were retiring.

Last night I watched Alice-chan's "Memories of" and the digests of Je Chante shonichi / raku and had a good cathartic cry. I mean, I guess it was good even if it made me dream about retirements again.

In the mail today, news that Shimon is finally getting a proper club formed. In a weird way this kind of makes me want to cry too.

So many girls I love, so much potential, and so many chances for them to succeed or fail.

I'm of half a mind to disable comments on this, but seriously, feel free to just not say anything about my whining. I'm not asking for hugs or pats on the back. I'm just trying to record how I feel post-taidan, as is my right in my journal.
Current Mood: blankblank
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Julie: alice ayane homewao_wao on August 23rd, 2010 06:16 am (UTC)
Oh, well, of course that's still okay ;) ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
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(no subject) - anthy1306 on August 23rd, 2010 02:44 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Julie: alice katherine cutewao_wao on August 24th, 2010 01:43 pm (UTC)
*laughs* ♥ ♥ ♥ Three hearts for effort; the sentiment of "I care but I don't know what to say" is very sweet and touching. Thank you.
ruderal_speciesruderal_species on August 23rd, 2010 04:01 pm (UTC)
I'm not asking for hugs or pats on the back. I'm just trying to record how I feel post-taidan, as is my right in my journal.

Absolutely true. Just as we have a right as your friends to get a bit concerned when we read post after post where you're in tears.

Do keep swimming. And trust that things will get better. <3

Julie: alice windowwao_wao on August 24th, 2010 01:39 pm (UTC)
Humph. It's not "post after post", it just seems that way because you're reading both of my journals.

... *hugs*
ruderal_speciesruderal_species on August 24th, 2010 03:53 pm (UTC)
Point taken, but, er, I looked back and there's only like one entry on the first page in THIS journal that doesn't at least have a frowny face.

So I forbid you to forbid me to feel concerned. ;)
Ms. Britt: [daixalice]ladybretagne on August 23rd, 2010 04:35 pm (UTC)
Say what you need to say, sweetie. It's your journal and it's better to get it out than to swallow this stuff down and let it fester.

For what it's worth, Dai-chan retiring is one of my brain's favorite anxiety dreams and it never fails to leave me feeling just resolutely horrible. And that's without really having any concrete reason to be worried that it's going to happen anytime particularly soon.
quinquinquinquin on August 23rd, 2010 07:49 pm (UTC)
I don't believe that being emotional about retirements equals whining but even if it does as you say it is your journal and you should use it as you see fit. Take care and hopefully the memories are enjoyable too and not just sad. <3
Julie: alice windowwao_wao on August 24th, 2010 01:40 pm (UTC)
There are lots of enjoyable memories ♥ It's not really the memories themselves but... lingering feelings that I still have to work through.
happy_riceball on August 23rd, 2010 08:34 pm (UTC)
Seconding the sentiments of wanting to hug and support you, whether you're down or up. ♥ It's an emotional ride. As friends, we're here to help and listen the best we can.
Julie: alice pinkwao_wao on August 24th, 2010 01:39 pm (UTC)
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥